Put my (insert here) where your mouth is
I’m out of cigarettes and that makes me sad. Haha. I have only B$3 in my wallet - only enough to get a pack of Marlboro’s. You know the feeling, right? It’s like when you’re aroused, desperately need pay-per-view porn but you don’t have a credit card and that makes you really sad - you just want to cut yourself. Okay, scratch that, cutting yourself only means that you need attention. No, no, it’s not because of your problems, it’s because you need attention. Everyone knows, but no one talks about it. So if you need people to feel sorry for you, don’t cut yourself, please, just say you need attention and we will give you attention.
I got Paris Hilton’s and Jet’s album today. No, it’s pirated. If she spreads her leg just a tad bit wider, I’ll get a legit copy. Although, my love for Paris Hilton is this big but if she were to squish my foot with her 40-footer hummer, I’ll be omg Paris Hilton crushed my foot. I might exaggerate a little, just a little - Paris Hilton crushed my foot and kissed me on the cheeks and rub her boobs all around me. Yeah,I’ll be like that. I’ll tell the doctors, nurses, the postmen, the garbageman and my cat. I might also print a shirt which says “Paris Hilton crushed my foot, see (arrow pointing down).” After that, I might file a lawsuit against her, get rich and buy myself a slushie machine. Then, I’ll pay someone to murder me because I’ll die happy. But maybe before that, I’ll make Paris Hilton dress like real women do with enough fabric to cover her whole body, I’ll die happier.
I have a new email. You can redirect your hate mails or maybe junk (spam is fine too), to affyhappens[@]gmail.com
Later, peeps! Until next next entry, this is Affy umm.. yeah, this is Affy.