A truly hilarious movie with astounding action sequences centered around a man with an abnormally large crotch, living the alpha male dream but secretly wishes to be a hairdresser.

Affy says go watch it.
Rating:

Movie trailer underneath the cut. (more…)

It was my first time with them and I must say, I am very impressed with the quality of service. The customer support is extremely helpful — all e-mails were promptly responded and calls were politely answered — despite multiple phone calls in a day. Haha. Thumbs up!

The people manning the e-speed support hot-line could definitely learn a few good things from them.

I am impressed. I am very impressed, indeed.
Please give Leen or Anne a raise. Haha.

Directed by Brian Robbins
Starring: Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy, Cuba Gooding Jr., Eddie Griffin and Alexis Rhee

Norbit is an un-funny comedy played by Eddie Murphy. This movie has an incredible collection of strange, over-used, toneless compilation of fat jokes, fart jokes and foul sex gags.

Eddie is back doing his multiple character thing. In this film, he plays Norbit — a sweet, mild-mannered nerd with a lisp. Norbit is married to Rasputia (Murphy again), an overpowering monster of a woman who mercilessly bullies her spouse. She’s grossly overweight, and thanks to the magic of Rick Baker’s makeup, we can see every little stretch mark and fat roll - in a bikini scene, no less.

I’ll be brutally honest here. Norbit is a very poorly made film, with jokes used over and over and over again, and it wasn’t funny the first time. There are some decent laughs in the movie but they were unsufficient (every comedy film needs good humor in abundance). This movie is a train-wreck. To answer the tagline — Have you ever made a really big mistake? — Well, yes, I saw your film. The only thing enjoyable was the cineplex popcorn and my root beer. By far the worst Eddie Murphy movie.

The cinema was quite packed. I guess everyone, including me, fell for the trailer. I want my $7 back.

Rating:
Only watch if you have nothing productive to do.

I don’t pay much attention when it comes to the Malaysian Hollywood scene, but after reading Jewelle’s interesting post, there’s no way I’m keeping tight-lipped.

Star TV recently gave Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza two tickets to attend the 49th Grammy Awards, because, wait for it…wait for it.. she won best dressed (photo below).

For those still in the dark, Dato’ Siti Nurhaliza is the Asian equivalent to Britney Spears. Back to Britney Spears’ glory days that is, not todays: white-trash-flashing-her-beaver Britney Spears.

So, this was the dress that bought her an invite to the Grammy’s, huh? I didn’t even know she’s attending the 49th Grammy Awards.

Holy Shit, seriously?!? Look at her dress (or whatever it’s called). It looks like one of those gifts you get on Christmas from your grandma. You know - Grandma does a sloppy job at gift-wrapping Christmas presents and always forget to label “From Grandma”. And the only way to identify that gift is from Granny, is from the slovenly workmanship. But since it’s Christmas - and it’s all about caring and loving each other - you assume she’s suffering from arthritis? Yeah, just like that. If you didn’t get what I was trying to imply, here’s a summary: Siti’s dress looks like an oversize and quite possibly, out of shape gift box.

I bet the designer was drunk the night before the dead-line and the only thing he/she (in this case, ‘it’ is also acceptable but I won’t go there) can find inspiration is from a potato sack. Yeah, put a potato sack, wrap a giant bow around the waist, glue those left-over laces from previous designs all over, a few strings here and there, and WALLA: two tickets to the 49th Grammy Awards.

I don’t blame Siti for winning the tickets, I blame the Star TV judges. Star TV judges: you need your eyes checked and re-checked - just to confirm.

Better yet, instead of giving the tickets to Siti, why not give them to the home-less guys on the streets? You know - the ones who act as if toothbrushes hadn’t been invented before. Just slap them with a decent shirt and jeans from Giordarno (it’s cheap - Ground Floor, The Mall) and send them on a plane to the Grammy’s. Just claim that they are pop-stars. Who’s gonna know? 99% of the people there are Americans. After a decent meal and a good night sleep in one of the luxurious hotel, send them back and act like nothing happened. You’ll sleep better knowing that you showed two homeless guys what they could’ve had, if only they paid attention in class.

Fashion is subjective. Just my 2 cents.
Apologies to the designer, and all my grannies out there.
I don’t celebrate Christmas.

I didn’t proof-read this post. It’s 2.03AM for goodness sake. I’m off to bed.
Ciao.

Directed by Edward Zwick
Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio (Danny Archer), Jennifer Connely (Maddy Bowen), Djimon Hounsou (Solomon Vandy)

Blood Diamond Movie Trailer

Blood Diamond is a bullet-train-paced thriller with serious political overtone set against the backdrop of the chaos and civil war in 1990s Sierra Leone. Blood Diamond is jammed pack with explosives, gun fires and violence (Rated R for violence and language in the US) with action sequences of blood-rushing ferocity.

I had my doubts about Blood Diamond, but upon exiting the cinema doors, in a slight daze, it definitely proved me wrong. Danny Archer (Leonardo DiCaprio) doesn’t really do a hell of a job with the English accent. There are a few chronological errors (I managed to catch only one) but that I can forgive. I think the cinema also edited and removed some unappropriate scenes. At times, the movie looks jumpy.

The idea of the story came from the world Blood Diamond trade — jewels smuggled out of war-torn nations with profits that further the bloodshed. A very well written and unpredictable story plot. Very emotional and heart-wrenching at the same time. A few good humor here and there. The run-time is 30 minutes longer than your average film, but I swear you won’t notice. Yes, it’s that good.

Rating:

Buttermik chicken from the WYWY Restaurant in KB. You should try one of these suckers if you just happen to stopby. I believe they also have a smaller branch in Seria but the grand-daddy is here in good ‘ol KB. They give generous portions here and there is an ENORMOUS variety of foods to choose from, (the menu is like a food catalogue) from all corners of the globe. They also serve the essentials if your operating a restaurant here in Brunei - fried rice, fried noodles and afternoon ‘cucurs’ - with the WYWY twist. Although it seems like the perfect family restaurant, ambience is great and not to mention free WiFi, the food served isn’t consistent. Sometimes, its too salty, too sweet and even too watery. If you’re lucky, you get it just right. Oh and by the way, I believe they close at 3AM, which is a definite bonus.

And if you’re wondering why I start my post with a picture, its flickr. Thanks to the multimedia message (MMS)technology and the power of 3g, I can blog via my phone. Very convenient, indeed.

Okay so I finally saw ‘When a stranger calls’. A waste of B$7. It didn’t give me any frights or whatsoever. The only fright of the night is when my brother called (in the middle of the movie) at around 1.30AM instructing me to get his badminton kit ready because he wants to use it. Badminton? at 1.30AM? Weird kid. So I waited outside, all alone, at 1.30AM, waiting for the motherfucker to arrive. If there were more violence and gore, it would’ve been an awesome movie. I want to see heads chopped off and hunged. I want to see chopped body parts. I want to see broken bones. I want to see blood spatter and all that jazz. Bottom line is, it sucked so bad, it’s worst than Paris Hilton music video.

Speaking of Paris Hilton music video, Stars are blind, I think if the director were to replace the male model with wild animals, it would a hit. I kid you not. Because the leopard print bra is so arousing but seeing she’s with another guy in the video, you just want to pee on the man and crusify him. But at the same time, I don’t think replacing the male model with wild animals a good idea. Take for example, a giraffe. The giraffe would mistaken her as a celery stick and start munching her like no other. I don’t think replacing the giraffes with monkeys a good idea too. The monkeys will start masturbating as soon as she puts he leopard bra on. All in all, I don’t think Paris should do another music video, unless it involves her bitch slapping Nicole Ritchie right at the head, followed by a ‘bras and panties‘ only cat fight in chocolate pudding. Now, that, I like to see. Hmmm

I have this gross infected wound. It’s spreading like wildfire. And if that wasn’t worse enough, it’s on my face just beside my lip. I would love to meet a dermatologist but my parents are out for the weekend. Let’s hope tomorrow when I wake up for school, it doesn’t conquer my whole face. If it does, I won’t start butchering random people accross the street but I will continue to look at the brighter side of things - I could play a Resident Evil zombie without special effects or make-up. Now, how fucking cool is that?

Sorry no pictures today. Later munchkins.