Last paper this Thursday (Biology 1), and then I’ll probably jump out the window, break my foot and spend the rest of my year end holidays in a cast — Now, that’s a plan.

Holy shit, I am shocked. :O I need a glass of water. That’s impossible.

I have 3 more papers to sit - Chemistry 1, Mathematics 4 and Biology 1.

I know the amount of papers I need to sit and study for has nothing to do with the above picture. I just felt like posting a picture of Megan Fox being bendy… very bendy.

Enjoy.

Raya’s coming up.

But first,

• A 600 word GP essay
• A 27 page Chemisty (MCQ and Structured) paper — approximately 216 questions.
• The entire school year (vast) syllabus to study for Finals — 4 subjects

All this, to be completed in a week’s time (during the Raya holidays).
It’s ridiculous I tell you.

Just seeing the amount of work I need to do, makes me very weak in the knees.

So, um, who feels like writing an essay? I’m serious.

“Kami inda berapa suka orang yang kan berfesyen di skulah ani.”

Thanks but no thanks lady. I don’t take ‘fashion’ advices from sixty year old woman.

And thanks for going through the entire guidelines with me, but I don’t think I am ‘berfesyen-ing’ in school.

You still want to see me again tomorrow morning? You must really like me, huh.
I met the principal after your mini-lecture and he said it was okay — try and beat that, hah.

If I was guilty, do you think I’ll have the guts to see the principal?

Excuse the English

So I have a test the very first day school re-opens? Great.
Covering all topics? Awesome.
And, I’m going to fail it? Excellent.

What’s AP?

Rhinoplasty surgery gone wrong? See Michael Jackson in the mirror in the morning? Get a rhinoplasty revision and revert that badly done surgery.

If you can’t really see the text in the photo:

Pre U students are not allowed to seat and occupied this area during BREAK TIME 10:00 - 10:30 am. DO NOT leave any rubbish on the table. Thank You. — Head Of School Canteen Committee 2007

Incase you don’t know, Pre U students refers to us (me), by the way.

I don’t think there is the need for me to underline, magnify or insert red circles to show you what is wrong with the above photo.

And they wonder why students in this school don’t excel in English Language.

What’s even more embarrassing is that, it is signed by the principal (correct me if I’m wrong), complete with the official school stamp, stamped on it. What happened to reading before signing anything?

I don’t see myself as someone who is good in English but jeez, even my little sister can spot the problem.

And where did all those native English-speaking teachers go?

You can spot more of these hilarious no-english-at-all signs in the library. One is posted on the front entrance door but I didn’t manage to get a snapshot of it. There are more inside. See if you can spot them.

I would be more than happy to get a snapshot of every english-gone-wrong signs in the library, but the premise is closely monitored by hawk-eyed PMS librarians (no phones in school, remember?)

Incase you’re wondering, yeah I was sitting in the Secondary Section. Yeah who cares, right? I suggest everyone to please proof-read their materials before publicizing it, if you want to be taken seriously that is.

I can’t believe there is so much paper work and running up and down the second floor to the ground floor administration office in record time, to get the permission slip to leave school signed. Not only that, you also need to obtain the ‘blue security pass’ (just to inform the on-duty guards that the required paperwork has been done) to exit the school permises. I spent a whopping 20 minutes (maybe more) doing this. Wherelse back in the day, a simple notification to a teacher and a nod (smile perhaps) to the lady in the lobby office, would get me out of school almost instantly.

I woke up today with a skull-splitting headache and a very very upset stomach — bad combination if you asked me. I knew I shouldn’t attend school today. I had Biology for first period (biology + upset stomach = bad). By second period, I’m on my way to administration, called up my dad to fetch me up without delay.

Incase you don’t know what to do:

1. You need to obtain a permission to leave school slip from the SM’s office. You need alot of explaining there to convince her. Since the SM’s office is always busy, they might be a mini que outside the door, so hang in there.
2. Once the PTLS slip is released, fill in the necessary fields (eg: reason for leaving, what time will your parents be arriving etc.) Make sure you use the school phone, as mobile phones aren’t allowed on school grounds. She’s the SM afterall, she might throw in a mini lecture if you told her that you already ‘text messaged’ your parents.
3. Once filled, get 3 subject tutors to sign the form as well. Yes, 3 subject tutors, that’s if they approve of you leaving the school. Finding the subject tutors on school grounds is one thing and getting them to sign is a completely different thing. Be prepared to give your reason infront of the whole class. I spent around 5 minutes convincing Mr. Lim to sign the form under the watchful eyes of the present class. Embarassing, I know. He eventually signed it. Haha.
4. Once you endured all 3 subject tutors (and the 3 different sets of class) and got them to sign your slip. Proceed down stairs, back again to the SM’s to get an ‘official stamp’. If anything is wrong/missing, it’s back to the second floor for you.
5. Wait for your parents to come, bring them to the SM’s office. A little paperwork is also involved for the parents. If all goes well, the SM will release the long awaited ‘blue security pass’.
6. At the gates, give the ‘blue security pass’ to the guards and you’re own your way home. I can hear the ‘hallelujah’ chant in my ears.

I had to complete all the 6 steps (plus, a few extras — don’t ask) with a head which feels like someone is ramming pencils into and a very angry stomach. A very demanding and laborious task, indeed.

I slept the whole day today. I have a Maths test tomorrow. Yikes.

Adios.

In Chemistry class,

Mr. Ancelm: Where were you on Saturday?
Affy: Bandar.
[I wasn't prepared for the next question]
Mr. Ancelm: What for?
Affy: Function.
Mr. Ancelm: What kind of function?
Affy: Family.
[Mr. Ancelm mumbling]

My usually slow brain deserves a pat on the back, or maybe a good dose of oxygen.
Congratulations to Mr. Brain for the split second thinking — coming up with a suitable and acceptable excuse right on the spot.

Throughout my years of being late (or even worst, not attending) class, I have developed a valuable skill:

1. Simple, one-word answer is the way to go. You only answer the questions asked and don’t attempt to include any unnecessary (unasked) details. Well if you do that, you are playing with fire, my friend.
2. Try to include the word ‘family’ in the conversation. That prevents the teacher from asking further questions. Works 90% of the time. Eg: family emergency.
3. Be creative with your excuses. ‘Transportation problems’ is too common and it usually leads to much further questions.
4. You can always pull a sickie, but try to limit the fake “I was sick” to less than 5 times per semester. You never know when you are really sick and need a day off from school.

But keep in mind that skipping class is your loss, not the teachers. Unless you have awesome friends, like I do (haha!), who are willing to fill you in, in what you have missed previous class — notes included!

Another educational entry brought to you by Affy.
You might want to bookmark this entry for future references.

Back to my homework. Adios.

I ditched yesterday’s class (morning and afternoon) to attend the St. John’s Sports Day ‘07. I have all Sunday tomorrow to come up with an acceptable excuse for missing class — need to sleep on that first.

Congratulations to Green Hegemony for winning the championships. Captain Wawan and Captain Rara did a swell job in keeping the team spirits up. To Red Gorillas, Yellow Unicorns and Blue Sharks: good try. I was a Green member back in the day, so I came wearing a green shirt. Hehe.

Here’s Zaff, Captain of the Yellow Unicorns. Though they didn’t win, she deserves a mention on my blog for looking extra extra hot on that day. They lost, but they lost looking good.

Here’s Captain Rara (if she seems familiar, she appeared on world-of-pablo numerous times) with her spanking new short hair. Final coaching words from team Captain Rara to the Green Hegemony Junior netball team.

If you came here for the cheer leading competition video, I’m sorry to say I have decided not to upload it for the world wide web to see. Someone with sticky fingers toggle the video quality setting on my camera to the lowest setting possible; the video is grainy. IM me (those who have my hotmail account) if you want to see despite the appalling quality, but only if you ask nicely. HAHA.

(Click here for a wonderful slideshow of ’some’ of the photos taken)

Well well, look what we have here. This is a rare sight, better snap a photo of it before it disappears into thin air.

Lo and behold,

Taken during break, yesterday, near the Boy’s toilet (2nd floor)

It wasn’t there today, as expected.
The toilet still smells funny today, as expected.

I wonder if it’s for show only.
I wonder if the administration reads my blog.

Related Entry: (Proper toilets okay?)
Side notes: no cleaning ladies were spotted in close proximity to the premises

Enjoy the rest of your night people!